Fool of a Took
by Wilwarin
Summary: After an accident involving Pippin and Gandalf's staff, the Fellowship has switched bodies! No one is too happy about it.
1. Prologue Pippin's POV

Thanks to an accident involving Pippin and Gandalf's staff, the Fellowship has switched bodies. Can they be returned to their "normal" selves before Pippin is killed, by all of the Fellowship?  
  
Set between Rivendell and the sighting of the Crebain.  
  
I do not own Lord of the Rings or the characters. I'm just messing with them. I'll return them safely when I'm done...maybe. :)  
  
Not meant to ruin Tolkien, written for pure entertainment. This story was not written on a pixie stix high, although that's where the idea came from. ;)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Fool of a Took  
  
Prologue -- Pippin's POV  
  
~*~  
  
I awoke because I was hungry. I hadn't eaten in six hours. 'Starving' was more like it. The last person I remembered having food was Gandalf.  
  
Everyone else was asleep. I carefully crept over to Gandalf's bag. I cautiously reached and grabbed it. I pulled it towards me. I looked inside.  
  
The only food was a shriveled apple. I ate it anyway.  
  
'Sam might have something,' I thought.  
  
I started walking back to the opposite side of the camp to where Sam was.  
  
I stepped on something hard and round. I looked down. It was Gandalf's staff.  
  
Suddenly, I had an idea. If Gandalf's staff could create fireworks, why couldn't it create food?  
  
I picked up the staff, which was rather difficult. It was nearly twice as tall as I was.  
  
I pointed it at the ground. "Food," I whispered.  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Food," I whispered again, slightly louder.  
  
Still nothing.  
  
I frowned.  
  
'There must be a trick to this.'  
  
I shook the staff. Again nothing.  
  
Frustrated, I hit the top of the staff against the ground.  
  
A bright blue flash knocked me down.  
  
I looked around. The fellowship was still asleep. I thought it would be best to do the same.  
  
I carefully put the staff back and crawled under my blanket. I quickly fell asleep.  
  
Little did I know the trouble I had caused.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Short chapter, I know, but the next one is much longer.  
  
OK, who has been switched with whom had been decided and Gandalf's POV is next. But I want to know what you want to see in this story. Ask and I shall write! Anything you request I will try to put it into this story. It may or may not be what you want, but I will try my hardest.   
  
Review please. 


	2. Chapter 1 Gandalf's POV

Chapter 1 -- Gandalf's POV  
  
I awoke to the sound of screaming. The future King of Gondor and the Prince of Mirkwood were pointing at each other and yelling as if the other were an orc.  
  
"Pipe down!" I yelled -- in the *Dwarf's* booming voice.  
  
I looked down and saw that I was somewhat shortened, and my grey beard had turned brown. Across the camp, I saw 'myself' still asleep.   
  
It then occurred to me that I had *become* the Dwarf.  
  
I walked, although it was more of a hobble, to my staff and examined it.  
  
*Someone* had toyed with it.  
  
The two screaming idiots finally ran out of breath.   
  
"Gimli," the Elf gasped.  
  
"Gandalf," I corrected.  
  
The Man's jaw dropped.   
  
The Elf started to panic. "But when . . . who . . . how . . . ?"  
  
I tried to calm him down. "Legolas . . ."  
  
His eyes narrowed. "Aragorn."  
  
The other pointed to himself. "*I'm* Legolas!"  
  
I slowly nodded. "Okay." I looked at the Elf. "Well, *Aragorn*, I suspect that sometime during the night, *someone* did *something* with my staff."  
  
"Don't look at *me*!" 'Aragorn' exclaimed. "Why would I want to look like this?"  
  
"And how do you think *I* feel?" 'Legolas' shot back. "I want my body back!"  
  
The yellow-vested Hobbit awoke. "What's going on?"  
  
"Merry?" 'Aragorn' asked.  
  
"Boromir!" He shouted. "How could you confuse me for one of the Halflings?"  
  
"Because you *are* one."  
  
He looked at his hands, and screamed. "I'm the blasted Brandybuck! How did this happen?"  
  
"It's a long story," 'Aragorn' replied.  
  
"Did I hear my name?" 'Boromir' then awoke.  
  
"Meriadoc?" I asked.  
  
"What?" He stopped. "What's wrong with my voice? I sound like Boromir." He touched his face -- and screamed. "I AM Boromir. But how . . ."  
  
"Don't ask," several voices interrupted.  
  
Suddenly, I heard my own voice. "What in the . . . Gandalf!"  
  
"Yes?" I asked.  
  
"I'm you! How did this happen?"  
  
"I'll explain later."  
  
"Stuck in a wizard," he mumbled.  
  
I chose to ignore him.  
  
The Ringbearer suddenly jumped up and looked around. "Mister Frodo, where are you?"  
  
"I'm right here, Sam," his gardener replied.  
  
"Mister Frodo, I'm you."  
  
"I noticed," 'Sam' answered flatly.  
  
'Frodo' looked at Gimli, who was me. "Mister Gandalf, what's going on?"  
  
"That's what I wish to know," 'Merry' said.  
  
Several voices began talking at once.  
  
I held up my hands to silence them. "All right, all right! Quiet down!" No one spoke. I sighed. "Here's what happened: sometime during the night, my staff was touched, switching our minds into each other. Aragorn and Legolas have switched, Frodo is Sam and Sam is Frodo, Merry has switched with Boromir, and Gimli and I are each other."  
  
"There's one missing," 'Boromir' said.  
  
"PIPPIN!"  
  
The groggy Took sat up. "When's breakfast?"  
  
I grabbed onto his collar. "What did you do to my staff?"  
  
"*Your* staff? Gimli . . ."  
  
"I'm Gandalf!"  
  
He went pale. "Uh-oh," he squeaked. "I kind of hit it on the ground. I was hungry and tried to get it to make food . . ."  
  
"FOOD?!" six voices asked at once.  
  
The camp went into an uproar.  
  
"HOLD IT!" I shouted.  
  
Silence.  
  
"That's better. There IS one way to reverse this, but unfortunately I have forgotten it. Also, it is very difficult and I have never tried it before. Since we have almost no choice but to travel like this, I recommend we all shut up and learn to adapt."  
  
"To HIM?"  
  
The bickering started all over again.  
  
The long journey had gotten much longer.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: I need ideas people! There will be no story unless I get some feedback. Whose POV should be next? What should be included? Slash or slash-free? Help!  
  
Replies to reviews --   
  
Sulwen Undomiel: Thanks! I'll write as much as I can, but I'm limited with ideas.  
  
  
  
Kat: Thanks; I love a good body switching too. I'm more into angst and drama myself, but whenever I can read or write humor I can.  
  
sam: The first chapter was just a prologue. If I get enough feedback and ideas, the next chapters will be longer.  
  
fodmonkey: Thanks!  
  
Tallulah: This happened! There will be more chapters to come (hopefully!) :)  
  
There was one other person who reviewed, but for the life of me, I can't remember who it was: First of all, I deeply apologize for forgetting and I will credit you in the next chapter. Secondly, I had these switches thought of when I first started writing this, so I'm sorry that you didn't get what you wanted. I had asked a friend of mine, and she said that these switches were good, so I stuck with them. Sorry, again! :( 


	3. Chapter 2 Legolas's POV

Chapter 2 -- Legolas' POV  
  
Legolas (in Aragorn's body) takes a bath! The quote that was originally on my bio (now removed) is now at the end of this chapter.  
  
Maikafuiniel, I apologize for not crediting you in the last chapter. Apparently, your review must have been lost. I hope this chapter makes up for it. :)   
  
I was told to keep this slash-free, and I did it. It was one of the toughest chapters I've ever had to write. It was SOOO tempting to go against it, but I kept Mona (my muse) locked up and kept it PG. I hope y'all are happy. :)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I wanted to use that little pipsqueak as target practice. Unfortunately, Gandalf warned us not to harm him. Even if he was four feet tall, I still had to respect him. Pippin DID apologize, and he meant it. If it weren't for the fact that he kept apologizing, it wouldn't be so terrible.   
  
Do you know how hard it is to tighten a bow string with "I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry", etc. right in your ear?   
  
"Just one arrow, Mithrandir. Please? I won't hit him."  
  
My reply was a stern "NO!"  
  
Maybe I should have started calling him "Thentrandir" – Short-Pilgrim. However, he might have turned me into Gimli. THAT would have been worse!  
  
It had been several hours since I had awaken to find myself screaming at, well, myself. If my father had seen me, Elbereth help me! I looked odd carrying Anduril; but then again, Aragorn must have thought that he looked odd carrying a Mirkwood bow.  
  
I thought being stuck in a Ranger was horrible enough; until we stopped to eat at a nearby river. I walked towards the water, my bundle in hand.   
  
I heard my own voice behind me. "Where are you going?"  
  
I turned around to see myself, er, Aragorn. "Just because I look like you doesn't mean I have to smell like you," I replied, and headed back to the river. Had I seen my own face, it probably would have been grinning ear to ear.  
  
It wasn't until I got to the river I realized my dilemma – I would have to see Aragorn NAKED!  
  
I groaned in his baritone voice.**  
  
I wanted my body back so badly. Since that wouldn't be an option, and I had no other choice – I swallowed hard and closed my eyes.  
  
Carefully, I removed Aragorn's clothes and waded into the water.  
  
Surprisingly, it wasn't any different than any other time I had bathed, except hairier.   
  
As quickly as I could, I washed and dried, eyes still closed.  
  
I only opened them after I had finished changing into my own tunic and leggings. I went back to the camp.  
  
"Did you have a good wash?" I heard my voice, mockingly, behind me.  
  
I glared at him. "Don't start with me, Estel." Suddenly, I thought of the perfect revenge on him. "Can you imagine what would happen if Arwen saw us like this? She might kiss me, thinking I was you."  
  
My eyes narrowed at me. "That's not funny, Legolas. *IF* she did, we would tell her first."   
  
"What if she still wanted to kiss you?"  
  
He shrugged. "I suppose she would have to picture my face on you."  
  
I smiled and started to walk away. "Good, because she does that anyway."  
  
I was tackled from behind by "myself".   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
** -- I took a guess. If you think Aragorn is more of a tenor or bass, let me know.  
  
FRODO'S POV NEXT! Thanks, Deranged Lil' Hobbit!  
  
Review Responses --  
  
shadow: Thanks. I appreciate that. :)   
  
Trishette: Nah, I hardly ever write pointless drivel. It's not my style.  
  
Michelle: No, not in a slashy way. I promised.  
  
Samwise the Brave: Thank you.  
  
Deranged Lil' Hobbit: I can see Pip doing that too. There's just something about him. And Frodo will definately be next!  
  
penpunk: Was this chapter to your liking? :)   
  
Astronema: Legorn and Aragolas wrestlemania! There will be a little more of it in the next chapter.  
  
szhismine: No kidding it's confusing. It's supposed to be. I'm trying not to make it *too* confusing though. Is there anything I can do to make it less confusing?  
  
sparkly-purple-babe: This has also been a 'do not drink while writing' story. :)  
  
........: OK! OK! But it was TOUGH!  
  
Anything else I can do for ya? I still need inspiration! 


	4. Chapter 3 Frodo's POV

I apologize for my pathetic attempt at humor. I'm not overly funny.   
  
Chapter 3 – Frodo's POV  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sam and I were sitting next to the fire. Sam was frying sausages while I was polishing Sting. It was rather tricky considering Sam's fingers were stubbier than mine. I looked around. Two of the Fellowship were missing.   
  
"What are Aragolas and Legorn doing?"  
  
Sam looked over my shoulder. "They're beating each other."  
  
I turned around. "Aragorn" had "Legolas" around his throat, and "Legolas" was pulling "Aragorn's" beard. I laughed. "They're beating themselves, really."  
  
Suddenly, "Aragorn" hit "Legolas" across the face.  
  
"He's going to feel that himself sooner or later," Sam said.  
  
"Legolas" fought back by kicking "Aragorn" in the stomach.   
  
I winced. "But not like that."  
  
After a few minutes, "Gimli" finally broke up the fight. There went that day's entertainment.  
  
~*~  
  
We continued onto the quest. Thanks to Sam's tailoring skills, my clothes now fit Sam's body perfectly. He also altered the other Fellowship member's clothes as well. They were all wearing their own clothes, but they looked so peculiar. Gimli's helmet barely fit Gandalf's head, and Merry's clothes on Boromir's body was quite funny.   
  
"Master Frodo," Sam asked in my voice. "I don't think I will ever get used to the idea of you carrying my pans."  
  
"But it's not me. You're carrying your own pans."  
  
"Yes, but I'm you."  
  
I smiled Sam's cheesy grin. I felt so sorry for him. He was confused even before we left the Shire. "If I tried carrying your pans, I might damage one."  
  
"No you won't, Master Frodo. I trust you."  
  
Slightly embarrassed and honored at the same time (Sam never let *anyone* near his pans), I reached out and took Sam's bag. I gave him mine, and flung the pack onto my shoulders.  
  
Sam took a step back. "That looks better." He grinned, but soon he began to pout.   
  
I will never pout again!  
  
"Sam?" I asked in his own voice, "would you like your pans back?"  
  
Blushing, he kicked the dirt. "Yes."   
  
I should also never blush again!  
  
"Here," I said, giving his pack back to him.   
  
"Thank you, Master Frodo," he replied in my voice. He gave me my own bag back. Throwing the bag over his, um, *my* shoulders, he continued walking.   
  
I wanted my own body back.  
  
"Gimli" came from behind me. "How is the Ring, Frodo?"   
  
I reached into my pocket and pulled It out. "It's still with me," I sighed.   
  
He nodded and caught up with the others.   
  
I looked down at the Ring again, and I saw that the Ring had expanded. Instead of fitting around *my* finger, It could hypothetically could have fit Sam's. I carefully put it back in my pocket and continued with the Fellowship.  
  
Secretly, I hoped that another brawl would break out.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
AN: Well, the Ring *does* change size to fit the wearer. I just thought I should throw it in.   
  
Gimli's next! Thanks, Loralie! :)  
  
Review Responses:  
  
penpunk & Angel 1: Thank you!  
  
Leggy Gurl: I know. I'm trying to make it less confusing, but I don't know if it's working.  
  
El loco uno: Yep, he's clean; although I don't think rolling around in the dirt helped him any. Me like cookies. :)   
  
Loralie: Hehehe. I'll have to do that. Great idea.  
  
I need ideas for the next chapter! What should happen? What about other chapters? I will make this go longer than intended if I get more positive feedback. 


	5. Chapter 4 Boromir's POV

I deeply apologize fot the long update. I had writer's block that would stop a truck, and I kinda forgot about this fic (oops!). Thankfully, I had a sudden burst of inspiration and I finished this in a day.   
  
I lied, sorry. I couldn't write Gimli's POV for what I wanted, so I switched to Boromir. *winks at DaakuKitsune*  
  
Note: all names are written as "body/mind". I hope that cuts down on confusion. (Thanks, szhismine!)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter 4 -- Boromir's POV  
  
"SON OF AN ORC!"  
  
I stubbed my toe, again, for the THIRD TIME that day!  
  
"I want my body back," I grumbled, rubbing the sore foot.  
  
"Don't we all," Sam/Frodo mumbled from behind me.   
  
Not only was I incredibly frustrated with my injured toes, I was also quite tired at staring at everyone's waist line.   
  
"Enjoying the view?" Gandalf/Gimli chuckled, obviously amused at how he was now about six feet high, and I was a mere three.   
  
I had the very strong urge to give him a swift kick in the shin. However, Gimli/Gandalf's clear warning still was fresh in my mind: 'If any of you take out your frustrations at each other, I'll turn you into something unnatural.'  
  
What is more unnatural than being turned into a Hobbit? In the end, I decided not to risk it.   
  
I kept thinking about the possibility of being stuck in the body of a Hobbit forever. Faramir's voice kept ringing in my head, asking about the size of Hobbit feet and whether or not anything else was equal in proportion.   
  
I didn't want to imagine what my father would say. He's not exactly the compassionate type, either.   
  
And Gandalf/Gimli wasn't making it any easier.   
  
"I'm glad you're short," he chortled at Pippin.   
  
"Why is that?" the unwitting halfling asked.   
  
"It gives me less to complain about."   
  
This was followed by an obnoxious roar of a laugh. It was Gandalf/Gimli, and the only one who found it the least bit funny.   
  
As much as all of us tried to ignore him, the comments just kept getting worse and worse. That is, until:   
  
"You would have to look down to look up."  
  
And Merry/myself could not stand it any longer, and punched him square in the face.   
  
"Watch who you're beating!" the Dwarf-Wizard yelled. "I've given you one warning already!"   
  
"Gandalf," Legolas/Aragorn asked, not hiding the fact that he was as sick with the situation as everyone else, "can't you change us back yet?"   
  
"I still cannot remember the spell," Gimli/Gandalf replied. "And as I said earlier, I have never used it before, so I cannot be for certain that it will work."  
  
Aragorn/Legolas muttered something that sounded oddly like an Elven swear word. I thought it best not to comment or ask.   
  
I just wanted the nightmare to end.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Notes: OK, yeah. I know hobbits are more like 3 foot, 4 inches or so, but I was rounding. I really didn't think it made that much of a difference, either.   
  
A bug hug and 'Thank You' to all of my reviewers!   
  
Fealaurin – You're not the only one who is confused. :)   
  
Deranged Lil' Hobbit – Aww, thanks! And I LOVE that idea!!! I'll try and write it in somewhere.   
  
SnowJess – Hehehe. Thanks. I was planning on doing Sam's POV next, anyway.   
  
Loralie – Sorry it took so long for me to update! I did remember! I hope you like it. Thanks!  
  
DaakuKitsune – Sorry to keep you waiting. And I did. :)   
  
szhismine – By "Gimli", I meant Gandalf in Gimli's body. Sorry about that. I used your idea, but I switched it because it was easier to understand. I hope it's OK, and it WAS a good idea. Thank you so much!  
  
elfchick123 – Thanks.   
  
Mona Lisa – More tenor? Hmm, I suppose so. I just guessed. Thanks.   
  
OK, I don't know when the next update will be, but I hope it doesn't take another two months!   
  
Keep sending ideas! The more, the better! I love feedback!! 


	6. Chapter 5 Aragorn's POV

I'm back with the next chapter. I am SO sorry about the nearly three-month wait, but I had this chapter nearly halfway done before I was hit with four weeks worth of no freetime. I was in my college's musical, and it ate up a lot of writing time. Plus, this chapter is possibly the longest one I have ever written. It was also hard to get it the way I wanted it.   
  
The good news is that it's finally here, plus I have a new mailing list for updates. The link for it is on my bio.   
  
If anyone has been considering doing fan art for this fic, send me an e-mail or check out the message on my mailing list (you'll have to go to "Previous Messages" to see it though). I'd greatly appreciate it.   
  
Special thanks goes to Aragorn's Chick and Deranged Lil' Hobbit for the chapter ideas. Thanks! :D   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Chapter 5 – Aragorn's POV   
  
After the initial shock of discovering I had turned into an Elf, I was actually starting to enjoy it.   
  
Growing up, I had always envied my foster brothers – they could run faster, climb higher, and sneak up behind me without being noticed. I hated it when they did that.   
  
Now *I* was the Elf . . . and I was taking full advantage of the situation.   
  
After sneaking up and scaring different members of the Fellowship for the hundredth time, the Hobbit-formally-known-as-Merry said "I think you're enjoying that a bit too much."   
  
I just smiled and shrugged. I didn't care.   
  
Unfortunately, all that is gold does not glitter after a while. Later that afternoon, while I was sitting down sharpening my pocket knife, Legolas was rummaging through his pack, obviously looking for something.   
  
"Aragorn?"   
  
"Yes, oh body-of-mine?" I replied, not bothering to look up.   
  
"Have you seen my soap?"   
  
I froze. I had, um, 'borrowed' and used up his last bar of soap the other night.   
  
Of course, it wasn't just *any* soap. This was Legolas' private cache, the good Mirkwood kind. To the rest of us, it was just soap. To Legolas, it was the miruv r of the Valar. His possessiveness of his soap is worse than Sam's possessiveness of Fro– I mean, his pans . . .   
  
I tried to hide my guilt, unsuccessfully. "No . . ."   
  
His eyes narrowed. "Aragorn?" He walked over to me and stopped, inches away from my face . . . and sniffed my hair.   
  
"YOU USED MY SOAP!!!"   
  
I turned pale, smiled innocently, then ran for my life, being chased the entire way by Legolas screaming Elven obscenities at me.   
  
About an hour later, he was finally stopped by 'Gimli'. We were separated and watched with a close eye until nightfall.   
  
The real trouble began that night after I had fallen asleep. Thanks to Legolas' Elvish hearing, I awoke to hear "What's this? A ranger caught off his guard?"   
  
ARWEN!!!   
  
I quickly sat up – only to be painfully reminded that I had fallen asleep with my head under a large log.   
  
Holding my sore forehead, I saw her beside myself – I mean, Legolas . . .   
  
I rubbed my eyes. She was still there. My worst nightmare had come true.   
  
::This is bad; this is very, very bad . . . ::  
  
Arwen's back was to me, and I was facing Legolas.   
  
He was just as surprised as I was. "Arwen! What are you doing here?"   
  
"I've been searching for you for two whole days. You forgot this." She gave him something hidden from my view.   
  
Legolas raised an eyebrow at me.   
  
::What did she give him?::  
  
"Why are you wearing Legolas' clothes?" Arwen asked him.   
  
::Good luck explaining that one.::   
  
"I fell into a river," he lied. "Legolas let me borrow some of his clothes until mine were dry."   
  
She glanced at me then looked back at him. "Then why is he wearing yours?"   
  
"He fell in, too, except much later."   
  
She obviously wasn't believing a word he was saying. She looked at the both of us, back and forth. "What is going on here?"   
  
He smiled at her. "Nothing, Arwen." He raised my hand to her cheek.   
  
'Touch her and DIE!' I mouthed, careful to avoid catching Arwen's hearing. Legolas didn't notice, so I tried again. 'Don't you dare!' I couldn't believe he was touching *my* Arwen.  
  
All right, I know that I do not own her. It's just that I love her, and I do not like seeing her in someone's arms that aren't mine . . .   
  
That came out wrong.   
  
Unfortunately, she must have heard me. She spun around and gave me a look of death. "Legolas! I'm surprised at you!"   
  
Uh-oh. ::Sam, give me your shovel, because I'm digging a hole . . . my own grave . . . ::   
  
I was stuck. "I . . ."   
  
Legolas had probably never seen his face so red in his entire life.   
  
I had never seen Arwen so upset. "If I want to be with Estel, I will be with Estel."   
  
I tried to protest. "But--"   
  
"No 'buts'." She interrupted. "You have no right to interfere. End of discussion." She turned around in a huff.   
  
::But *I'm* Estel . . . ::   
  
Legolas reached out and held Arwen's hand. "It's all right, Und miel. You have every right to be upset. Never mind him." He had that evil glint in his eye . . . the one he only uses when he's up to mischief. It was even more obvious on me.   
  
I probably should have left, right then and there, but I was NOT going to leave Arwen alone with my imposter.   
  
Her head tilted to one side. "Estel, why aren't you wearing my necklace?"   
  
I smirked. ::This ought to be interesting.:: Too soon.   
  
Without missing a beat, he replied "Legolas stole it."   
  
It took a split second to realize he was referring to me. "I did *not*!" I yelled.   
  
His – My eyes narrowed slightly. "Then try to explain why it is hanging around your neck."   
  
I decided to tell her the truth. "Arwen, this is going to be hard to accept, but *I* am Estel. Pippin toyed with Gandalf's staff and accidentally switched us around."   
  
She turned to face Legolas. "Is this true?"   
  
"I have absolutely no idea what he is talking about," he replied with my face perfectly straight.   
  
My – I mean, Legolas' – jaw hit the ground.   
  
If and when Gandalf changed us back, I was going to *kill* him.   
  
"Legolas," Arwen demanded, "give Estel my pendant."   
  
Handing over the Evenstar jewel was like ripping out my own heart.   
  
"Thank you," Legolas smugly replied, after he had the pendant in hand.   
  
If it were not my own body, I would have taken And ril and sliced off his . . . arm.   
  
"I have to get back before Father worries," Arwen told him. "I'll leave you two to your petty bickering."   
  
"Alright then," he chuckled but turned serious. "Be careful."   
  
He wrapped my arms around her, hugging her goodbye.   
  
I could feel my face feel hot as I welled up with frustration and anger.   
  
He had that evil smile as he looked at me. 'This is for stealing my soap,' he mouthed, and he kissed her right in front of me!   
  
~*~   
  
Before I knew it, my eyes flew open and I sat upright, only to hit my head against the log again. Clutching my very sore forehead, I looked down to see the pendant still around my neck.   
  
It was just a dream!  
  
My glance fell upon my sleeping self across the camp. I no longer cared if it *was* my body – I walked over to that grabby Elf and kicked him right between the legs.   
  
I make a very strange noise when kicked. Kind of like "ffftttt," but not quite. The way my eyeballs bulged out was very odd too.   
  
Sulking, I went back to bed.   
  
I wanted my body back.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Review responses:   
  
Starlight Wolf -- *thinks for a minute* I do have a thing with torturing people, lol. Thanks.   
  
Dimgwrthien Adeline -- Not a big fight scene here, but maybe later.   
  
Deranged Lil' Hobbit -- I wonder if he did have a secret list of Elvish swear words. And I can see Elrond dropping a few F-bombs during the Council. For the fun of it, I did some translating and figured out how to say SOB in Quenya, as well as some other "interesting" phrases. :) There's a link to my (under construction) list on my website. It's called "Gwestach? Baw, Dan Istan I Phithath!" (Do You Swear? No, But I Know All The Words!) Just go to my website on my bio, click on "Eldarin" then scroll down to "Gwestach?" Note: it's a PG-13 site because of content. (And yeah, the title comes from The Three Stooges. I wanted to think of a good title and this one was one of the first to come to mind.)   
  
Cela -- *hands over box of tissues* There's more coming, I promise. Hopefully, later this month.   
  
AllPowerfulDaisy -- I don't know what'll happen to Pippin. I do have something in mind, though. And thank you for adding me to your favs. :D   
  
elfitchick -- Thanks for the suggestions! That'll be funny.   
  
natalie -- I'll try to do that. Thanks.   
  
Aragorn's Chick -- Yep. This one was just for you. I hope you liked it. Thank you so much for your idea.   
  
DaakuKitsune -- I'm sorry for the long wait, I really am. Thank you so much.   
  
Tera Earth -- Yeah, I would kinda be freaked out too. Thanks.   
  
Pippin, Shadow131, elfchick123, JULES6 -- Thanks. 


	7. Chapter 6 Sam's POV

IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!

Thanks to an inspiring review from ssdiablo, I managed to get cracking on this chapter, and it's finished! (Chapter idea from Dha-Gal)

Title: Fool of a Took

Author: Wilwarin

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Summary: After an accident involving Gandalf's staff and Pippin, the Fellowship has switched bodies.

Author's Note: Unbetaed. It's been 11 months since I last updated this. I am so sorry.

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Chapter 6 – Sam's POV

Honesty, I meant no offense to Mister Frodo, but I wanted my own body back.

It was so confusing! With Gimli as Gandalf, and Merry as Boromir, and Strider as Legolas, and Mister Frodo as me, and . . . oh, headache!

I finally understood how my Old Gaffer felt when he woke up the morning after drinking too much ale.

And it had been the previous week before this big mess started that Gandalf had mentioned something that my Gaffer used to say, about walking a mile with another's feet. Although I don't suppose they both meant it literally.

That morning had been pretty usual -- other than the fact we were still switched about in each other's bodies, if you can call that 'usual'. Except that Strider, and by that I mean Strider's body, was walking around rather funny. I asked him if he was all right, but he said something about a strange dream . . . something he could not remember. I do not quite see how that had to do with walking funny, but it must have been very realistic.

Anyway, there we were, sitting about the fire, helping ourselves to our second helping of First Breakfast -- sadly, that was Second Breakfast since the non-Hobbits of the Fellowship decided that we could not stop six times a day to eat (all four of our hearts nearly stopped when they told us; poor Pippin burst out crying and had to be consoled by Merry for nearly an hour) -- when suddenly, Legolas who was watching the fire, went stiff. He stood up and looked east. "Something approaches."

"What is it?" Pippin asked, with a mouthful of sausage.

There was a long pause, then: "Orcs."

It was a mad dash to put out the fire and grab our weapons.

Strider was looking in the same direction and complaining. "Why can't I see them? I'm supposed to see them!" He then spun around to face his own body. "Aragorn, you have horrible far-sight!"

Well, it wasn't too long before all of us could see them -- twenty feet in front of us. There was a lot of them, about a hundred . . . but then again, it is hard to estimate when they are running directly at you.

"What do we do now?" Boromir asked, his voice shaking.

Merry calmly replied, "Simple. We fight them off."

An orc jumped towards Pippin and Merry. Pippin closed his eyes and stuck out his sword. It went though the orcís chest. Another orc lunged at them, and Merry cut off its head. The other orcs drew their weapons and ran towards them.

"For the Shire!" They yelled in unison, and charged at the onslaught.

Pippin plunged his sword into the orc in front of him. When he tried to pull it out, it was stuck. He gave it one large yank, and it came out of the orc only to swing around behind him and become lodged into another orc behind him.

I grabbed the first thing I saw and started swinging. I had taken out nearly 5 or 6 of those monsters before I realized it was my frying pan. As much as I hated seeing the poor thing being used in such a manner, I had no other choice but to keep smashing orcs' faces with it. I really was not getting the hang of it, yet.

I was not able to see much else during the fight, except Boromir. Being Hobbit-sized, his shield did not protect him like it used to. Every time he picked up his shield, it fell on top of him, making him look like a giant turtle. He could not do much else but stab orcs from the waist down.

Unfortunately, during that brief distraction, I was knocked to the ground by a large, and dead, orc. My leg was pinned to the ground, and another live orc was aiming for my head. I was trapped.

I heard a sudden shout and the orc above me was slammed out of the way by Legolas. Unfortunately, he was not as quick as he was in his Elven body and took a rather nasty blow to the side by a head dive by an orc. I think I fainted after that.

When I came to, there was just us ten -- the Fellowship and Bill the pony. All of the orcs were dead, and all of us managed to survive -- but not without injuries.

It was strange to see an Elf with so many bruises. Or even one bruise for that matter. Legolas, himself, however, was a different matter. The orc's head dive had left Aragorn's body with a cracked rib. Still, he seemed in high spirits as he was smiling ear to ear. "I killed twelve, Master Dwarf."

"Humph, only eleven," Gandalf replied, slightly disgruntled. "I swear I will get even with you one day. I will not be outdone by an Elf."

Legolas began gathering his weapons. "We must continue, before we encounter any more."

Silently, we agreed. When I picked up my bag, I noticed that Mister Frodo had a very odd look on his face . . . or is it 'my face'? Either way, I do not know what it was, but I always got a chill up my back when Mister Frodo would start stroking that golden Ring like it was a pet coney.

Very strange . . . and very creepy.

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AN -- Due to the new rules of , please do not post story ideas in your review. If you have an idea for a chapter, send it to my e-mail address in my bio.

Since the replies would be longer than the actual story (), I'll just post the answers to the questions some of you asked.

Dragon empress: She probably wouldn't have believed them. Besides, where's the fun in that?

Mists of Myth: Since Sam carried his cooking gear all the way to Mordor and was reluctant to leave them behind, he's obviously very attached to them. I just ran with that idea.

Aragorn's Chick: Sorry, none with Arwen's POV. I couldn't make it work.

Sayanna The Rover: Honestly, I have no idea. I think I was toying with the idea of what would happen if Pippin got a hold of Gandalf's staff and messed around with it. I wish I could remember exactly how this story got started, but apparently, I just can't.

DaakuKitsune: This was Sam's. Next will be either Gimli or Merry.

Deana: I think you've got that one covered already

To all who wanted slash: There was a tie between slashy and not slashy. Sorry, but I'm leaving it the way it is.

Thanks to all of you who review. It really makes my day (and actually does get me off my butt to write)


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